What’s a Good Boston Name for My Dog?

Before you bring in the Boston theme—a noble desire, by the way—the name has to work as a name. It needs originality, personality. It’s got to be theirs. When you yell it across a park, seven dogs can’t come running, which is just another way of saying that we have enough Bellas and Lunas.

To get a winning name, you gotta think, discuss, cross stuff off lists. And above all, the kids do not get final say. It’s a good teaching moment that not all of their ideas are gold. (We also have enough Shadows.)

Now to make it Boston. We have tons of possibilities, some so obvious as to be overlooked. The biggest? Dunks. It’s quick, strong, needs no explanation, and will get a constant response of, “Can’t believe I missed that,” but you’ll need to get on this early because it has the possibility of becoming like Charlie and Jack.

If you want to honor our long, storied history, then go with Norm, Lilith, or Coach. If this isn’t resonating, your first to-do item is to watch Cheers. But under no circumstances can you pick Sam. (See Luna and Bella.)

Sports could be seen as too easy, too hack, but it’s still a good source of the great and unsung. For the Celtics? Hondo (John Havlicek), Russell (Bill), or Bird (Larry). The Bruins? Doakie (Gary Doak), Schmautz (Bobby), Sweeney (Don or Bob), or Chief (Johnny Bucyk), the latter allowing you to constantly say, “How ya doin’, Chief?”—the ultimate Boston display of concern. Patriots? John Hannah gives maximum boy/girl flexibility with his last name and nickname, “Hog.”

The Sox well is deep, but dig a little deeper and consider Boomer (George Scott), Pudge (Carlton Fisk), Tiant (Luis), Carbo (Bernie), or, most especially, Freddie Lynn (Freddie Lynn). If you want to be totally innovative, something we love to do here, well then, it’s Monster. Give the pooch a green collar, and the story is told. If you want a little more bite, Stubby, acknowledging where you end up buying your tickets. Or you could go with Obi, a classic Boston nickname (O’Brien), which in this case could stand for Obstructed View Seats.

Actually, any name that ends in “er” has legs, because you can/should spell and say it with an “ah.” Which leads to another ridiculously awesome choice: Chowder. Full name would be Chowderhead, and in more casual moments, Chow.

And finally, if you’re adopting two dogs at once, there’s only one option: Wicked and Pissah, which would be, well, you know.